


Wired Autocomplete Interview—Avengers

by Tonystarkisaslut



Series: Media AU [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Past Relationship(s), Social Media, WIRED autocomplete interview, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonystarkisaslut/pseuds/Tonystarkisaslut
Summary: The Avengers have a lot of PR to do! Wired autocomplete interview is one of them—watch them answer the web’s most searched questions
Relationships: Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Series: Media AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823116
Comments: 24
Kudos: 167





	Wired Autocomplete Interview—Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of this is obviously not going to be canon compliant I changed a whole lot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark does his Wired autocomplete interview!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starker. Don’t like don’t read. I just want to have fun with my little PR AU

_The video starts, and on screen is Tony Stark in a suit and his glasses, sitting on a stool in front of a completely white background._

“Hi, I’m Ironman—you know who I am. And I’m doing the WIRED autocomplete interview.”

_The LOGO types it’s way on screen, before cutting to Tony holding a large poster paper, which looks like a google search bar with several auto fill questions. In the search bar is “IS Ironman…”_

Tony keeps his face neutral as he reads outloud. “Is Ironman…” he peels off the sticky covering first auto fill suggestion. “Italian. Only half; my mother was Maria Carbonell, her side of the family immigrated from Italy a very long time ago, and were obviously extremely wealthy. My father’s were English, and poor. I don’t think a lot of people know that, actually.”

Tony smiles and pulls off the next question. “Is Ironman… actually Tony Stark.” He looks straight into the camera, unamused look on his face. “Really? A decade and a half later and you guys still need to ask?”

Tony shakes his head in mock disappointment and peels off the next sticky. “Is Ironman…a slut.” Peels of laughter from behind the camera, and Tony can’t keep his face straight even though he tries. “You guys could have phrased that question differently is all I’m saying…” more laughter, and then a cut and Tony is back under control. “I used to be, yeah. Biggest slut in the entire earth. But now I’ve had only 2 lovers in the past 15 years, so not anymore.”

“Is Ironman… an addict.” Tony’s face goes somber. “Again, I used to be. A lot of people don’t know this; they may have _thought_ it, but they didn’t _know_. I had lots of addictions, when I was younger. Alcoholism was the most obvious one, anyone who knew me knew I was an alcoholic. In my younger days I did coke a lot—couldn’t do that after my heart condition. I’ll tell you what, no better rehab that being tortured and kept in a cave in Afghanistan.” He chuckles at his dark joke. “Anyway, now the only thing I’m addicted to is coffee.”

Another cut, and Tony is pulling another sticky loose. “Is Ironman… a good person.” Tony shrugs. “That’s completely subjective. I’ve done a lot of terrible things in my life.” He holds up his one metal hand, wiggling the fingers. “I also saved the universe like three seperate times.” A snort from behind the camera, and muffled words that are captioned on screen as “that’s an understatement…” which makes Tony crack a smile.

“Is Ironman…retired. Officially, yes. If you see me flying around in my suit, I’m probably having fun, not on a mission.” He winks at the camera.

_Another cut, and Tony is now holding a different poster board. This one reads: What is Tony Stark…_

“What is Tony Stark…” he smirks at the camera. “A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, war hero, savior of the universe. Also, an egomaniac.” More laughter off screen.

“Okay, seriously though… What is Tony Stark…’s favorite color.” He makes a surprised face. “Huh. The first one. Interesting. Red, obviously.”

He peels off the next question. “What is Tony Stark…‘a zodiac sign. Gemini. Does that explain a lot about me? My birthday is May 29th, 1970. Oh Jesus, I’m so old.”

He peels the next one off. “What is Tony Stark…known for.” He rolls his eyes. “Lots of things. Being a billionaire. Being Howard Stark’s son. Being Ironman. Being an asshole. Take your pick. Oh, sorry- no cussing. There’s a no cussing rule guys, and I broke it. Sorry!” More laughter from off screen, and Tony relaxes a bit.

_There’s another cut, and Tony is holding a different poster board again. This time it reads “who…Ironman.”_

Tony peels off the first cover. “Who…does Ironman…work for. Well, me. I used to work for SHIELD, but obviously… and then I answered to the government, which was _fun_ , I’m sure you guys remember that fiasco. And now I don’t answer to anyone, because I’m ‘retired’.” He puts retired in air quotes.

“Who…is Pepper Potts to Ironman.” Tony clears his throat. “A lot of things. One of my best friends, CEO of my company, mother of my child, my ex-wife, my rock, the only person who can actually scare me anymore…Pepper is awesome.” He smiles at the camera.

“Who…is Ironman…dating.” He sucks in air through his teeth. “Oooo, good question. We’ve been keeping our relationship private, for some obvious—huh?” There’s mumbling off screen, and then a cut. Tony is still sitting on the stool, but now there’s a man next to him. “This is Peter Parker, my boyfriend. Yes he’s on the younger side, yes he’s legal, no he’s not a midlife crisis.”

Another cut, and Tony is alone again. “Who…is Ironman’s…successor.” He thinks for a moment. “Well, Spider-Man is my protégé. He’ll technically be my successor, but he won’t be Ironman. Does that count?”

He peels the next sticky. “Who…is ironman’s…daughter. Morgan Stark, she’s my kid. There’s nothing about her on the Internet yet, and I want to keep it that way as long as possible. Me being in the spotlight from such a young age is what got me into most of my trouble.”

_A larger cut, and Tony is holding a different board. This one reads: Does Tony Stark…_

“Does Tony Stark…work out.” He makes a face, much to the amusement of the people off screen. “Uh… does having the weight of the universe on my shoulders count?”

“Does Tony Stark… Speak any other languages? Yes, many. I speak English, Italian, German, French, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, and Latin.”

“Does Tony Stark… have an Instagram. Yes, I have all the normal social media’s; Instagram, snap chat, Twitter, Facebook, all of those. They’re all private though.”

“Does Tony Stark…love Pepper Potts. Yes, but not romantically anymore.” He shifts and puts the board down on the floor next to him carefully. “Sometimes, people are better off not being together, even when they still love each other. Forcing yourself to stay will only hurt both of you.”

_Another cut, another board. This time it reads “Ironman”_

“Why did Ironman… come back alive.” Tony makes a horrified face. “Jesus! Do you guys hate me that much?” Laughter, and then Tony shakes his head. “I was ‘dead’ for like two minutes, before Princess Shuri of Wakanda got to me, and took care of me. I was in a coma for 6 months, in which time the world was tolf I was dead because there was only a 1% chance I would live after what those stones did to my body. However, Princess Shuri happens to be the type of genius that _always_ manages defeat odds, and here I am.”

“Where does Ironman…live. Classified.” He goes straight to the next question. “Ironman video.” He snorts. “I guess this interview counts, right?”

He shakes his head and peels the next one off. “How does Ironman…cope?” Tony’s smile disappears. “Everyone is going to cope differently. The important thing is learning how to cope healthily. After coming back from the dead, I coped by seeing a therapist. Soft sciences were never my thing, and I used to look down on therapy… but that was toxic masculinity and my father’s voice telling me that. There is _nothing_ wrong with needing help.” He’s about to peel the next one off, but then he smirks and looks back to the camera. “Also, I found out I have ADHD by going to therapy, so that’s a plus.”

“What…mental disorders does Ironman…have.” Tony snorts. “That’s a rude way to phrase that.” He smiles at the camera. “My therapist says I have ADHD, depression, PTSD, anxiety, a panic disorder, and, surprisingly, not narcissistic personality disorder.” He shrugs.

“Last one! I hope this question is good. When did Ironman come out? As bisexual or as Ironman? I came out as bi in 87, as Ironman in 2008.”

There’s a cut, and Tony is facing the camera, no boards in his hand.

“Thank you for watching my WIRED autocomplete interview. I hope you enjoyed, and make sure to like the video to boost my ego even more than it already is; also make sure to subscribe to see more celebrities fill out their own interviews, and comment down below which Avenger or celebrity you want to see next. Buy guys!”

_The screen fades to black as the end card shows up, and you can hear a soft voice say “You did a great job, Tony, I’m so proud of you. That was so brave.” As the video times out._


End file.
